karcasm

okay. i just invented this word. super proud of it. yes it rhymes with two other words.okay, maybe more with one word than the other, but depends on how you look at it. so after sitting idle for nearly a month, gloating on my graduate status (not sure though), i finally took action, put a lot of thought into it and came up with it, behold..........."Karcasm". i know, the cheers wont die down, its deafening. okay, to the point now. a very scarring incident took place a few days back. 

one of my friends, who shall remain unnamed, finally convinced me to come to this art of living thing that he had been part of for the past few months.  he made it really easy for me, held it my own clubhouse, my own complex. having been called at 6, i promptly show up at 6 40. i find about 15 people sitting in this hall, and a lady, girl or whatever, in the grey area-female was talking to them. seemed to be recalling a personal incident or something. i located my friend and asked him bout the music show or "rock" show (fingers motion) that was promised. he said i should have a seat and that it will start pretty soon. i had a seat, more indian than western style, that is yoga style, minus shoes. and it starts.

trust me, it was absolutely like those tv evangelist who shout and make weird noises, sing and stuff, ofcourse minus weird noises. this guy shows up, humongous smile on his face (govinda would have blushed). he looks around, picks up a guitar (he was given an introduction,but not important), starts strumming and asks us to sing along. i did do some chorus, and didnt get the words at all. apparently that made us all feel better and open! and ROCK show over! 

cut to next guy. this one has the patented smile, and was in a talkative mood......

the rest, next, time, bored already......

still havent found what im looking for...

the search is on. i've wandered many a country,city,even towns.none of the experiences have been as rewarding as yesterday night. though i dont claim to be well versed with etiquettes , public urinals are the most baffling for me.  the moment i have entered one, usaully during a movie or in  a trip to the mall, the first thing i look for is an unused urinal, or should i say a private urinal in a public one.what an oxymoron.  and ofcourse, by unused, i mean barely used, or to be more specific, not looking like an execution wall, with a little everyhwhere!

another observation that baffles me is the one off hair.yes, go ewwww, but ive seen it. how, no tell me HOW does that happen? were you wearing the male chastity belt or the lashings took time opening that caused that? WHY? 

no better feeling than when the stars are out at night,u along , looking up at them, for you dont need to look down. this is earth, urea, fertiliser.does it matter that a dog was here before you? oneness with nature. 

washing hands.WHY? im always carefull.

die alone

If there’s one problem i have with the ad agencies today is the spate of depressing ads shown off late. I mean yes people get old, yes things get taken from you, life slows and you settle down with what you have saved for so many years, taking up some hobby as shown by Harsha Bhogle, actually scribbling on the canvas, getting better as he retires (has he retired?). But why show that in an ad. The running theme of these insurance ads seems to be to scare the living daylight of a healthy earning member of the family,  making him feel he might be dead if the bill for the water heater is not paid for the next 20 years. Every ad will have a shock value, a scene where the character has to give this grave mute expression, and then come up with the solution, being the investment. Two ads that really stick out like 2-sore-thumbs-up-god-knows-what are the HDFC Standard Life Insurance ad where they didn’t even leave the little boy, playing with a car, out of the inevitable miseries of life. I mean, the sentence “Agar aapke papa gum gaye to?” is probably engraved on the boy’s mind till date, giving him recurring nightmares, having to checkup on his dad every night, instead of it being the other way round! The other ad, who’s name fails me, which again has me checking the pulse and breathing of every sleeping relative, is where this wife come home after shopping and sees her husband literally passed out on the verandah chair, still, with the paper lying open next to him. She approached cautiously ,fearing the worst, just to find him startled to life.

But everything’s not so grey after all. The Asian paint’s ad, with the elderly couple reminiscing about a cycle incident about their child or grand child,cant really figure out, is so sweet that if that could some how be used as an insurance ad, it would be the silver lining to the dark grey clouds that are the insurance ads today.

oye

lucky oye is good.pretty good. very unique movie. and people who cant notice anything except the lead's dialogues,go watch dostana or something.

the secret

this is what comes out when one is forced to give an output,and not the kind that comes out naturally and biologically in the morning. theres this new book out called the secret and apparently me being in the habit of judging books by their movies, saw the movie. from what i grasped, there was something about attraction and visualising stuff. i have to say i am pretty good at visualising stuff, having spent my formative teenage years and in a boys hostel, so that wasnt the problem.(ha!). the problem came when i was satisfied, tired and sort of perspiring after what i had just visualised. hence , the lack of action. i believe 'the murphy's laws', the arch nemisis of the 'the SECRET' kicks it in the crotch and stands for a while, enacting a primal cry from the bruce lee movie, 'enter the dragon' (dont blame me for your abysmal taste in movies).

leaving that aside,i have to mention this to all the people who will never read this. these two people i recently met.see, i like to say my height is at par with the national aggregate of heights or something, but among these two, i cud be the adopted son of the pygmy part of africa of this gay couple. i mean, we were walking along, and i strategically placed myself in the midst, thinking atleast then i wouldnt be ignored, if not on purpose, but just physically. i kid you not, even standing in their midst, i repeated my punchlines thrice for it to be heard by them, and by that time losing their sting, delivery,quickness and most of all, the PUNCH, now coming down to  a tap (yes, i watch YO MAMA) .

and inspired by the secret,i had sworn that i would do something worthy by 3 30, so now its 3 20. what can be done in 10 minutes?? this is what came out in 20, so do i have any reason to be optimistic?

heres an awesome rap for you- ('the secret' staaylee)

look at me universe.

what do you see?? 

apart from all the five feet six plus 2 or three of me? 

WHO?? DOGG!!! $#@$#@%!!

'all that is fine, but hows your dog?. or for that matter anyone residing in your residence, past or present?'. well, they are in pink of health, thankyou for asking. i wouldnt go so far to say that they enquire quite frequently about you because quite frankly they dont.

but yes, thankyou for asking.
since the dawn of time man has been asking questions which have no satisfactory, logical or definite answer. 'whats up?!' is one of most unfavorite phrases, if that is a word. 'JUST CHILLIN' quite plays on the same nerve. the word itself (CHILLIN) sends shivers down my spine and makes my teeth clatter, much like when one runs their nails over a blackboard. but let me be honest, i always make a point to ask these questions and always have a moment to enjoy when people sometimes stall, contemplating to tell the person what he or she was actually doin or play it cool and give some lame answer, i always do!

theres one more question tickling my rapidly shrinking cerebrum, "What is wrong with Jug Suraiya?".

i must , simply must get back to my CHILLIN.......piss............





p.s- these posts may bear absolute resemblance to person dead, living or very much on the edge.i consider that you are reading this post knowing me, and hence taking no offence.

three wishes

it is sometimes happens that one gets lost while listening to a song, the words in the bacground, vague, remotely familiar, and the music, like white noise, unexpectedly having a passive effect, soothing you down unknowingly, while your thoughts are themselves abstract ,but funnily enough, theres this all knowing smile on your face as if you have disovered the meaning to not only your own life, but to the many others you know and care about. its as if the monk sold his ferrari , but kept the keys, laughing to himself all the way to the bank.

there are many cliches describing the feeling one gets while looking at sunsets, sunrises, the mountains, breathtaking views, etcetra, etcetra, etcetra. as i said, they are cliches. il tell you about some personal favourite. topping the list is the right song, on the right road, with the cd in the right music system, irrespective of the mood. i think that about completes my list. i know too many rights bring you to the same place, right? but history having a nack of repeating itself, i believe im fine with that.

try driving while listening to a good, song. you wouldnt want the destination to arrive, or in my case, take a u-turn and go back the same way. but this only happens when you are in your own company.

i know, i need to lighten up. but theres is a fine line between what you want and what you need, with the 'wants' frequently trespassing the 'needs' territory, with substantial backing, either logical or whimsical...

californication beckons.......